Loneliness

Have you ever felt so alone that you felt trapped inside yourself? That no matter what you do you're never going to be okay again? That you've messed up so badly that you've lost your happiness and your world? Going through a break up with the person you love is the second hardest thing you can ever go through. You lose your drive and your sense of happiness. You don't have that person to talk to about everything. You shatter into a million pieces and you don't know if you'll be okay. You want the pain to end. You want to do anything you can to make it stop. You know you need to let go but you can't because that person was the light in your darkness that is your life. You don't want to let that go because once you do you're all alone and it feels like no one cares what happens to you. You think about suicide because it seems like the way to make it stop. You don't want to be in pain and it's a release from that. You see every other couple around you and you cry because you long for the person you love and wish they hadn't left you. Going out in public is nearly impossible without looking like you're in a bad place. Every single person can tell that something is wrong but they don't dare be there for you. You fake being happy to please those who care. You don't want them worry.

I know this post was very dark, and emotionally unstable. I can't keep this inside any longer. I want to escape from the pain that is haunting me.